Preparing for the holiday season  

Grief is a "respecter of seasons." Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays often seem harder. And the worst part is usually the dread. The day itself is usually less difficult than we feared it would be. 

Fortunately, there are Some Things We Can Do:

 
Expect this time of year to be difficult. 
 
While most folks expect Christmas to be difficult, Thanksgiving is the gateway to the season and often holds more "family" connections.
  

Be easy on yourself (but be honest).
 
You are probably being harder on yourself than anybody else is being. Cut yourself some slack. This is a difficult season for people who aren't aware of their grief.
 

As needed, ask for help & support.
 
Family, friends, neighbors, church folks -- are all potential helpers. But none of them can read minds. If you need help - ASK.
 

Enjoy what you can of family and festive opportunities.
 
You don't have to accept every invitation. But you can accept some. It may be enough to watch others enjoying themselves.
 

Practice Forgiveness.
 
Your friends have made some blunders. Forgive them. You'll probably discover a need to forgive the one who's gone and left you alone with this mess. Forgive as you are able.
 

Consider meeting with a group for a single event or a series.

Contact a local hospice organization to ask about groups that may already be scheduled. I've conducted "Preparing for the Holidays" events for over a decade. If such an event is scheduled it will be listed right here.

Or you may contact me: [email protected]



NOTE: These thoughts are adapted from material by Randy Becton. Randy was a cancer survivor and walked alongside many others experiencing illness and grief. The full text of Randy's comments is available online at HeartLight.